I have to admit, I liked these. 🙂
- Studies show that home-schooled children average between the 80th and 90th percentile, regardless of the socio-economic background, or educational level of the parents.
- Great student teacher ratio.
- Very good communication between the student, teacher and parents.
- The student can’t lie about their homework.
- With a class size of one, they can’t copy anybody else’s work.
- The curriculum is in perfect agreement with the values of the parents.
- The children will not bring bad habits home from school.
- The pace of learning will be geared to the ability of each child, not the lowest common denominator.
- You don’t have to fix lunch in the morning.
- Children will be better adjusted socially if they don’t learn social skills from the street gangs.
- Without peer pressure, they learn to think for themselves, not just parrot what the “group wants to hear”.
- Every educator agrees that parental involvement is the key to success in a child’s education. How could one be more involved?
- Your child will never be “just a number” in the classroom.
AND THESE ONES TOO!
20. Your kids never tell you that you’re a lot dumber than their teacher.
19. If you can’t find matching socks for your child first thing in the morning, who cares?
18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as chemistry lab.
17. Your kids never have a reason to think they’ll get beat up by a gang at school.
16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can stick her icy feet against his legs at night.
15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall, and you won’t get sued.
14. You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.
13. Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet an old flame, and recklessly abandon their marriage.
12. You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.
11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.
10. It’s better to be slightly concerned about socialisation than very concerned about socialism.
9. Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.
8. The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.
7. You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.
6. If your child gets drugs at school it’s probably Tylenol.
5. The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.
4. Your kids recognize that this list is numerically in reverse order.
3. Your honour student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have put on your car.
2. If your child claims that the dog ate his homework you can ask the dog.1. Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle working expert and will turn to you for advice.