Slow Progression

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Pondering the word reward, I think of how my lad makes me smile.

I know, I’m probably sounding like a doting mother, and I am, but right now I’m not.

You see, I need to lose some weight. I’ve been getting my mind around it, and it’s honestly a work in progress…just very slow progress….

Anyways, my lad says “mom, when I was losing weight I found it helpful to realize that every craving only lasts about 60 seconds. You can do 60 seconds can’t you?”

Or “Mom, if you make a decision not to eat chocolate for one week, did you know that makes it easier not to eat it?” “I saw it in the video, I watched it because it’s hard and I wanted to know how to make it better”.

He keeps coming up with tidbits of information to help his mom. When I say “hey, did you know I didn’t eat a thing after you went to bed last night”, he is so delighted. He is indeed my biggest fan.

Slow Progression

For years I watched
On again, off again
It seemed all so pointless.
I never noticed the difference it made.
And even if I did, it wouldn’t have stayed the same.

On this diet, lose the weight.
Off the diet.
Gain weight.
On this diet, lose the weight,
Off the diet and
Gain the weight.

It’s seems to have a different reaction in my sisters.
They work hard at staying slim.
Me… I saw the futility in my mother.
On again, off again.
The point of dieting didn’t make sense.

And so I vow was made.
I WILL NEVER DIET.
It’s hard in my core now.
So I have to fight that determination.

What I need is a change in focus
And so I am working harder on that end.
What encourages me to eat?
Does anything stop me from eating?
What can I do instead of eating?
What better choices can I make?

And so progression is slow.
Cause quite frankly…
when I’m tired and sore…
My first choice is ALWAYS to turn to food.
I love food. I really do. 🙂

But God keeps pointing something out to me.
What is the ONE THING I want most?
Is there something should I be eager for?
What little things must I account for as I push forward?

And so I’m learning, slowly, too slowly maybe?
That when I struggle, I need to look
To the one who holds the answers.
Who points out a better way.

And still, slowly…
I learn
And maybe one day,
One day soon?????
The weight will come off.

WITHOUT dieting. 🙂
And that my friend, will be my reward.