A Net in Time

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Excellent Wife Series

Excellent Wife Study: A Wife’s Understanding of Marriage

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I’ve been going through The Excellent Wife by Martha Pearce, you can find the rest of the series here.   This week we are on Chapter Five: A Wife’s Understanding of Marriage.

In this chapter we learn how a husband and wife are to minister to each other as they pursue God’s goal for marriage together.

Just what is God’s goal for marriage?
Oneness and Spiritual Growth. 

This is not an instant event, it takes time and commitment to each other.

1. Prayer is key.  Talk with God about your concerns about your marriage.  

2. Make a point of being committed to making it work.  Seriously.. put your mind to it.  

3. If you mess up, fess up.  Repent of it, make a choice to change.

4. Know that you aren’t doing this alone… you are in it with your spouse.  He lets you know when you mess up, you let him know when he messes up, you praise the good and work together on the rest.  

 My thoughts:
It’s so true you know?   You need to be committed to making a marriage work and not just letting it all side into pieces.   It means talking with each other, struggling with each other, holding each other close and making choices to stick by each other.   It’s not always easy.. trust me it ain’t.. but it’s important to do so. 

To let go of the anger and the hurt.  To see the good.  To see how God is changing you through your spouse.  It’s part of his plan to make a couple one.  Just like the church is called to be one body.. a body that works together, struggles through the differences we all have.  Marriage is worth it, even in this day and age when it seems so disposable.  It really is not.  And too many people give up on it way too fast. 

I don’t want to be one of those and REFUSE to be one of those.
I have a man who loves me and half the time I don’t know why.. but he does.  He shows it all the time.  Why would I dis that?   Even if he annoys the heck out of me sometimes, why would I dis that love that he shows me ALL THE TIME?  HUH?  

And you shouldn’t either.  You should see your spouse for who your spouse is and how you influence his behaviour.    It’s what God calls you to do.  To edify and build one another up.  To strengthen and encourage.

DO SO.
Don’t quit.  Make the choice to pray for your spouse, for your marriage, for yourself within that marriage, it’s a good thing to do eh?  🙂

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The Excellent Wife: A Wife’s Understanding of Relationships

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I’ve been going through The Excellent Wife by Martha Pearce, you can find the rest of the series here.   This week we are on Chapter Four: A Wife’s Understanding of Relationships.

Relationships… Oh man… relationships are hard between people.   So I am wondering what this chapter has in store today. 
 
On page 28 I find this quote “The Godhead’s relationship is our model of relationships.   From eternity past God (Trinity) has set the pattern for relationships. The relationship within the Trinity is intimate and close. As there is harmony in the God-head, there can be harmony in a marriage relationship.   God intends  and desires for us to experience it. We are to look to God for this perfect pattern“.   

Within the Trinity, unity is the norm.   This is what we should strive for in our marriages.
As people we are to strive to be like Jesus Christ. 

Like Christ, we need to submit our will to God.  Following his way and pattern. As natural as it is for us to want to think first to our own needs and wants, we must put that aside and look to Jesus and how to live for him.

That means putting aside ourselves to heed our husbands desires, to be kind to him, to be open and honest in your relationship with him and more.

But not only the wife, as the wife seeks to live for the Lord, so her husband seeks the same.  Learning to be open and honest, leading and guiding as the Lord would have him do.

I have to admit… I struggle with this chapter (though I suppose we all do eh?)  The ‘me’ in me wanting to fight for it’s own way.   It’s a regular battle.. not to love my hubby, cause I do.  But to show that love in tangible ways… making meals, going for walks, talking and listening, giving head and shoulder rubs, and showing care in all the little ways one can show they care.  Sometimes it’s hard to leave MY STUFF in order for his needs and concerns to be met.

I so often lose that battle.  

But the more I ask myself these questions, the easier I think it will be.
1. How do I glorify God in my relationship with my hubby?
2. How can I walk in a manner pleasing to God? 
3. How can I live for Christ this day?  This minute?   

Seeking the softer way, the quieter way, the humbler way.. instead of the what do I want, need, desire, demand way.  

What about you?    

If you want to follow along in this series, you can find the books via Amazon Affiliate Links:
  Amazon.ca: The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective

 Amazon.com: The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective

This post may contain affiliate links – using affiliate links from A Net in Time helps fuel this blog and our homeschool – thank you!

©2006-2017 A Net In Time. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. A Net In Time/

The Excellent Wife – A Wife’s Understanding of Sin

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I’ve been going through The Excellent Wife by Martha Pearce, you can find the rest of the series here.
This week we are on Chapter Three: A Wife’s Understanding of Sin.

In this chapter we learn about God’s provision of sin and Four Characteristics of it. 

1. Sin is universal.  No one is exempt.  Romans 3:23

2. Sin may be open and obvious to others. Galatians 5: 19-21

3. Sin cannot be hidden from God. 1 Samuel 16:7; Hebrews 4:13

4. Sin justly penalized.  Romans 6:23; Isaiah 53:11

 If we trust the Lord God for our salvation, our sin is covered.   We’ve repented, our sin is cleansed and removed from us  Even horrible sins of the past.   The sins of the present will continue to need to be dwelt with.

If we have a long-standing sin we must be diligent about putting off the old self and putting on the new.  Making choices to change what we do and how we respond.   Changes thoughts, actions, patterns etc by making CHOICES that fit with the new nature we are putting on.

Our goal as believers is to be godly.  To show God in the things that we say, do or even think.   God is the image that we seek after, the image that we want to emulate.  So understand that sin is NOT being godly.  Turn from it.  Seek after God and his ways. 

Confess.  Repent.   Seek.   Do.  That’s the calling up on us.  

This chapter seemed very straight-forward to me.  No hidden mysteries.  Just a call to recognize that if we want to be an excellent wife to our spouses, it really starts with having faith, and living according to the higher calling God has placed on our lives.   Seeking him, seeking to be kind, seeking to be more than what we sometimes want to be.

Book series: The Excellent Wife – A Wife’s Understanding of God

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This chapter’s focus on on what a wife understands about God, talking about who God is, and what God wants for them in their lives and work.

First off, What wives need to know about God.
1. God has planned a ministry for you.
2. God is gracious, righteous and compassionate.
3. God’s strength and understanding are unlimited.
4. God is purposefully working in your life.
5. God wants you to be a joyful and fulfilled wife.

Second,
What wives need to know about their works and themselves.
1. God has prepared good works for the Christian wife to do.
2. The Christian wife’s good works have eternal worth.
3. The Christian wife does not have to be afraid.
4. The focus of the Christian wife is to be on God rather than herself.
5. A Christian wife does not have to sin… which means we are putting ourselves under God’s protective authority.  

Why does the wife need protection?
1. The influence the world has on her.
2. The Devil
3. Women are often more easily deceived.

The study guide questions:
I won’t go through them all as some are true/false questions or just asking to rehash the lessons of the chapter.

5. Does the husband ever have absolute authority over his wife?
  … you know.. before reading this chapter the answer could easily have been yes…but really he doesn’t.  God does give him authority over his household, but this doesn’t mean he can ask us to do something that is against God or God’s ways (aka to sin).

6. Why does a wife need protection from the influence of the world?  Examples?
….one of the things that I am grateful to is my husbands ability to figure out what it is about something that I am uncertain about.   I can say.. something about this feels wrong but I can’t figure out why… and he’ll be able to put his finger on it, if not immediately (though often that’s the case), then quickly.  It gives me a sense of security to know that my radar is working even if it’s not always correct.  🙂

Book Series: The Excellent Wife – Who Can Find

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I was trying to figure out which of three books I’ve been looking at lately which one I should use on my blog.   (you can see that discussion here).   I finally decided on using the book “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace.   Why?   Because I often don’t feel like a very good wife.  I don’t know if I am the only one who feels like that (probably not as the Lord tells me there is nothing new under the sun), but it’s a real thing for me in my life.   Often feeling inadequate for the task at hand.

I’ve had this book for a while now, picked up because someone said “it’s a good book to work through” and it’s lain on my shelf, occasionally picked up but not really worked on.

Thought I should work through it and then I can pass it along should I want to.  Make sense right?  Books are meant to be used not just sit on shelves.

This book comes with a chapter to read as well as a study book that lists a number of questions.

 I thought I would write out most of the questions along with my answers. I invite you to join me with your own thoughts.

Chapter one is “The Excellent Wife – Who Can Find?”

1. What should the greatest priority in the Christian wife’s life? 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Matt 6:33.
—that old adage is a true one.  God first… all else second…

2. What should he her second greatest priority?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”   Genesis 2:18
— a helper fit… That’s what we are you know?   Fit for the person we are with… as long as we can accept that.

3. To what does God compare the worth of the excellent wife?

An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
 Proverbs 31:10 
 — trying to imagine being more precious than jewels…. I know, they are only stuff.  People are more important than any kind of stuff.  PERIOD.

4. List as many traits of the “excellent wife” as you can find from a careful reading of Proverbs 31:10-31.    

 An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.
 

My question: What does it mean to dress with strength?

My thoughts: There is a whole lot more in this passage than I like to think.  Some I am very familiar with…like she works hard… finds clothing for her family etc. , but others I found surprising.  Like “she laughs”, “the heart of her husband trusts her.”

All solid traits.

5.  What is a wife’s responsibility?   What problem could keep her from becoming a godly wife?

  • To put her confidence in the faithfulness of God and his word.
  • Sin and it’s affect on the woman in question.  Sin affects our confidence in God and his faithfulness to us in his word.

7. What is God’s remedy for sin?

  • 2 Cor 5:21 –  For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
  • Rom. 6:6 – We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.
  • John 8:34-36 –   Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. 35 The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
  •  
  • God’s remedy for sin… His Perfect Son… the sinless one, born the penalty of sin for us.  If we want freedom from sin we must be in his Son.

8. Who is the helper that God sends Christians to enable them to obey His Word and t submit to His way and His will?
 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, 17 even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.  John 14:16-17

The Holy Spirit is that additional helper that we’ve been given.

9. Why is the Christian wife without excuse to succeed in becoming a godly wife?  
 We have a ready and willing God who is quick to forgive those who come repentantly to him.   If I truly know that God will forgive me…if I am sorrowful for not trusting his faithfulness, then I need not have any fear.

 Your thoughts are most welcome.