poetry

Okay, I’m a bit late for doing my Five Minute Friday post which is hosted by Miss Kate. This week has been so full of work I’ve hardly had a chance to sit down it feels.  In light of the fact that this week’s word is back, let’s look back over the week shall we?  🙂

Hard Week

Monday cleaning and painting the new bottom of the new to us truck bed. This involved lots of rags, and the lad gained skills in vehicle maintenance.  He learned to put a shop vac together. 

Wednesday our car was in the shop.  The new to us car is causing us some mental strain with some of the issues it is having.  This time it needed new wheel bearings and we need to find something called dust covers.  I don’t know what they are and Jim can’t seem to find them along.  We’re thinking we might have to hit up some of the junk yards.

Thursday and Friday were focused on getting the truck in working order.  This necessitated some heavy lifting and a lot of team work.  We replaced the old bed with a new one.   The lads got the lights working again and after some intense moments of frustration got all the bolts connected.   The rest of Friday, the lad and I spent gathering materials they would need for camping.   I mostly had everything packed except for the kayaks and food. 

Today (Saturday) I finished packing up my son and hubby up for a week of camping. I forgot to get Jim (hubs) to help me get the propane tank extensions out of the trailer. So they are missing those, but I can bring them up when I come.  They have some small propane tanks with them to hold them over.  I’ll join them this coming weekend for a bit. 

I have to admit, it was a tough week physically.   It was so hard.  Lifting and moving.  Having to deal with frustration seeping off my hubby, feeling his discouragement as physically as I could hold a rabbit.

In the midst of that hardness though, as I look back I see more though. 

Look Back

The conversation flowed by between boy and man,
We need to do this, and then that.
“Am I doing it right dad?”
“You got it son”, the response it came.

“Dad, can I help?”
The words often came.
I love watching them work together.

MOM! Dad needs you!!!!
The call rang out
Startled I arose and quickly went outside.
Finding I’m needed,
Another strong pair, hands lifting, shifting.
Holding while bolts connected.

Work done I stayed outside.
Listening, waiting, being close at hand.
Smiling I watched my bunnies on the grass.
Then grinning as I watch
A wee little one demonstrate she’s too smart
To stay outside.
Puddle won’t stay in a pen on the grass.

Banished from the grass,
She thumps in the cage.
Waiting to end of day
For her not as smart littermates to return.

Laundry flapping.
Clear bright days.
Decent health.
Hard work possible.
I could make everything ready.
For my boys to go away.
Camping in sight.
I was pleased to pray them on their way.

Looking back I find.
A hard week… was good. 🙂

I sit here ruminating over a word
Distant.
Every week a group of people unconnected
gather.

Some from the United States
Others from Canada,
The United Kingdom,
and from all over the world.

Distant places
yet
in common we have
One word.

Five minutes given
write!
Speed along with careful
Thought.

No editing
No rewriting
Just careful blasts of words
Filling the page.

I love it.
I really do.
Seeing how one word
One time limit
Brings people together
Writers together
From all over the world.

Encouragement
Experiences
Enlightenment
Different perspectives

Now tell me
What do YOU see
In the word
Distant?

I was talking with my lad the other day, about how when I was on my way home last weekend I cried most of the way home.  I’ve not been in a good place mentally and spiritually lately.  One of the goals for this overnight trip was to play music I loved and could sing to have a happy time.  I wasn’t expecting the tears, but I’m glad that God stopped me for a while.  Reminding me of WHO he was, and WHOSE I was.   I needed that reminder dearly. 

Anyways, what was my point?  

My son asked why I cried most the way home.  I told him about how God used words of songs and lines to remind of things I needed to remember.  Things like if I call myself a Christian, yet I don’t seek after God, what am I really saying?   I need to seek after God and I need to get my house in order because that is who he has called me to be.

But it will take time.

The question is: how willing am I to wait?

Willing I Wait

In a hard spot
I sit
I feel alone. 
Bereft without a friend
Doubt sets in

All alone
No one cares
Dishes wait
Laundry done
Doesn’t anyone see?
I’m all alone,
just trudging through…

Doubt takes root
If no one sees?
Perhaps it’s true
God is make believe
Doesn’t care
Doesn’t want.
And so deeper, depression sets.

Til one day
A chance it comes
Get away girl
Just run run run.
Take along some tunes to sing
The boys are not there
No complaints can bring.

All the way there I just talked and sang
Music rang long and deep
So much fun I had
The weather hot
Oh my a burn!
Since window down
No air-conditioning.

Then hugs and laughter
Good soul friends to chat
We talked family
And work and who knows what.
But laughter rang out
Long and clear.
Such a good night
with souls so dear.

An overnight since
Sleepiness and travel do not combine.
On the way
Misdirected I was
Lovely man, started me off again
Take 94 all the way home,
Straight to the border
Port Huron… Then home!

All the way home
the songs they rolled
Then a line caught my mind
and the tears down they rolled.
I cried as God told me
o’er and o’er
HE is Lord of all

He watches
And is the one who sees
He provides all.
He minds me full well
I shouldn’t FORGET!
HE MINDS ME.

And so I remembered
This God with his Son
Who claimed me his own
One who gave ME!?!?  Full rights
A child of his own.

And so tears of sorrow
A repentant heart
So I determined
A New way, let’s start
Let’s stop playing mind games
Remember now what’s true

A remembering all
the tears slowly ceased
Reminded I am
That is his way is peace
the path won’t be easy
but the heart follows true
Who he is, and whose I am
Willing I wait

Okay, now you’ve read mine, and hopefully you’ve glimpsed the God who Sees.  I urge you to head over to Miss Kate’s.  Write or tell your own prompting on today’s word Willing.  Then encourage someone, it’s the heart of our community. 

So I just finished reading a book called Heart Changer.  It’s a fictionalized account of the slave girl to Naaman.  He had leprosy and had to wash in the river Jordan.  You can find his story in 2 Kings 5. 

A quote that caught my attention runs as follows:

Even though I do not believe in your God, Miriam, I can sense that He is watching you.  That his hand is upon you.  And he has plans for you.  I never thought I could say that about a god, but your God is not one made of wood or stone.  He is one who hears and cares deeply.  He is one who sees.

I got to thinking about that.  God who sees.  What does that really mean?

The God Who Sees

Question asked:
What does it mean
That God is a God who sees?

Does it mean that when a sparrow falls
He actually cares?
Or is he a distant God just noting
The event without concern?

Does it mean when I weep in despair
while washing the dishes, that it matters to him?
Or does he again, just note it
and go on about his affairs?

Questions sometimes hit
When you think about a God who sees.
What does it really mean?
Does one who sees care?

The thought implies that he does.
What’s the point of seeing if it’s just
another point to make a note of?
Seeing implies that he really sees.

That he sees the depths of confusion and hurt.
That he notes the hunger of the sparrow
The pain on a brow
All the signals that something isn’t right.

So what happens then?
What happens when a God sees?
Does he act?
Does he do anything to show he sees?

I don’t always know it
Sometimes I do
Like when we read about how God
Gives us something tangible to show the intangible.

Using something that we know well
Like taste, texture, sight, smell
An action of giving
and then receiving.

To remind us of the bigger picture
HIS SON DIED.

So when I pause to really think
what it means to have a
God that sees.
It does matter.

It mattered before the moment
that those tears fell
When a heart wept
When a bird stopped singing.

God saw it then
He sees it now
And he’s already done it.

The question now is
Do I make the choice to see him?
To know the one
Who saw me first?