Troubled in his Spirit

Last week we saw the Jesus wasn’t surprised, he knew that one of the 12 would betray him, he also knew which of his people were his own.   Today we learn more in John 13:21-30.

21 After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” 22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. 23 One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, 24 so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. 25 So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” 28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. 29 Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. 30 So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night.

Do you remember that Jesus said one of those that ate bread with him would betray him?  After he finished talking he was upset.  “Troubled in his spirit” we read. 

Jesus was fully human.  Imagine investing your life in 12 men.  Spending all your time with them, teaching them, showing them a new way to be, and then having one of them totally reject you.  It would be like when a parent raises a child, pouring their love into them, showing them how to be a good citizen and having that child turn their back on you and all you’ve taught them.  Wouldn’t that upset you?  As much as Jesus knows his people, as much as he knew that Judas would betray him, it’s still a hard thing to take. 

Troubled in his spirit he repeated “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”

Can’t you just see the confusion this would cause among his disciples, those who loved him.  They’d be wondering just who Jesus was talking about, knowing it wasn’t them. Peter (at the behest of the disciples) asked the question :  “Lord, who is it?”

Jesus was clear in his answer “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.”

Betrayal

He gave it directly to Judas. Telling him “what you are going to do, do quickly.” That’s just what Judas did.  

His quick departure raised questions which surprised me.  Jesus had literally just said that the one he gave the bread to would betray him, so why would they think Jesus sent him off to buy bread or give to the poor.  That some thought that boggles my mind! 

Not only that “No one at the table knew why he said this“.  I suppose it came as a surprise to them later that Judas betrayed the Lord.  They would have figured that he was one of them completely and then to have the pieces fall into place later. They would have then been thinking “Ah, see Jesus knew.  He even told us!”

I feel sad

I read this passage and I just feel so sad you know?

Sad because Jesus was upset knowing he would be betrayed. Upset that the disciples didn’t get it.  Sad that they would have understood afterwards, when it was too late, so they would (I’m supposing here) be questioning themselves as to why they didn’t understand it, or notice it.  Sad because Judas spent so much time right with Jesus and he still turned away.  And horrified in a way, that as soon as Jesus gave the bread to Judas, SATAN entered into Judas.   Can you imagine that?  Having that darkness in you?

And so my heart is troubled.  Knowing all this, knowing Jesus lived with this knowledge inside of him.

Yet, he willingly went.  He struggled yes.  But he allowed events to unfold.

Why?

Because of his love for us. Due to his love for me.   In light of his love for the Father.