OH! The word this week is choose! Has me thinking all kinds of thoughts. Thoughts about decisions to make, choices in life, what to choose in regarding to a variety of things in life, and more. There are just so many options so I guess we’ll have to see what I choose.
What I Choose
What I choose
sometimes is to be a bit
too honest and sometimes appear
to be a bit too blunt.
To let my inner voice
be heard in a public forum and
have people question what I think
and see and do.
Sometimes what I choose
makes me uncomfortable
as I see the uncomfortableness
I raise in others.
But sometimes I think
we choose not to be honest enough.
I can’t say I like
feeling uncomfortable
but I dunno… sometimes I think
God is making me too comfortable
with myself and my own insecurities
and concerns about the things in life
that he lets my inner voice be heard.
But I don’t know.
Sometimes I choose to shut down
that inner voice. To merely sit in
silence even as others say I should
be doing or acting in a particular way.
For instance, I have a friend whose
child is going through a difficult time
and I’m choosing to sit back and let
her family and close friends minister to her
as I quietly keep her daughter in prayer.
It doesn’t mean I don’t care, but
I am letting those most important to her
hold and be and stay close so that
she doesn’t need to expend extra energy
on me so she can focus on her hurting daughter.
Perhaps though I am projecting
my thoughts on how I would feel
given that same situation.
What I choose
is to live with myself,
sometimes uncomfortable with
how I live my life, but always secure
that God who saved me,
that God will mind me full well, and
will guide my every footstep and word,
and call me on it when my deeds match not
my heart and knowledge of him.
God has planned out my days.
So when I open my inner voice
and shock people at a bible study,
having them wanting to solve the situation,
or to correct my approaches to problems,
that just perhaps God is doing so for a reason.
But I don’t know
Even if I can’t understand it.
Even if I find myself saying hmmm…
perhaps I need to consider something more?
And just perhaps, that’s the work he wants me
to do, to consider further, not just to be a
small pokey stick in the lives of proven
people of faith, comfortable in their faith.
I dunno.
It’s just a frustrating type of day
that leads to introspection
and questions of what I choose.
Tell me.
What choices do you make?
God speaks to us
GAH… the vulnerable part of me what’s to erase this whole post. But a while back I committed in my heart to let God guide my writings of these FMF posts. So what comes out is what I deem he wants to have come out.
What I choose is sometimes a tad uncomfortable….
But what would God say?
Psalm 37:23-24
The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.
“Perhaps though I am projecting
my thoughts on how I would feel
given that same situation.” — I do that a lot.
It’s hard to know sometimes eh? If one is projecting one’s own thoughts, or something true to the situation.
I’m so glad you didn’t erase! Your writing encouraged me as I often have similar thoughts.
Thank you for writing and sharing today!
Eyes on Jesus… you shine!
Lisa
oh, thank you Lisa. 🙂
I choose to wear hair hippie-long,
and sing me through my daily rounds,
do pushups to keep fit and strong,
and make wood stain from coffee grounds.
I choose t-shirts of old rock bands,
and to eschew power tools,
to learn the tongues of distant lands,
and never suffer pagan fools,
’cause life’s too short to be polite
to those whose shallow hearts have spurned
the Holy Fire and its Light
(what do they think, that they’ll get burned?),
but in my bluntness I’m still kind
to folks with nothing in their mind.
one does need to maintain a kindness level… something I always need to remember….
We always have a choice…
though sometimes our choices don’t really seem optional….
I think I’m in the same make and model of boat as you find yourself in, Annette. I speak authentically, and people don’t seem to understand the heart of love that brings forth honest truth that apparently cuts, but sometimes the cut can bring healing if it lets the infecting pus out (right?). Yet, the knee jerk reaction of others is that it is unkind. In time, perhaps vindication or fruit comes forth, but does anyone remember the draining of the pus that brought the healing? Not usually…but they do remember how they felt at the time…sigh.
The other scenario is kindness and wisdom. May the Lord give us wisdom and grace of when to speak, and when to remain silent. And may we not be “silenced” out of fear or through intimidation. May everything we say be said and done from a heart of love by the grace of God and the power of His Holy Spirit. ~Lisa, FMF#2
I think I like the just being silent better…. I’m more easily kind when I keep my mouth shut. 🙂 And it ruffles no feathers.
But it doesn’t get me thinking harder either…..
It’s a hard one …
Sometimes our choices do make us uncomfortable! But we are not called to a life of ease … We’re called to follow Him, whatever that might look like in our own unique circumstances.
that is true
Annette, I’m so very glad you did not erase this post. It’s profound and thought-provoking and uncomfortable, but that’s as it should be. We should stop trying to be comfortable and make others so. Comforting yes, but not making people comfortable so that they don’t grow. I find myself doing and saying similar things so much, and have people avoid me sometimes because of it. Also trying to be led by Him in all of it. Thanks so much for being honest. Kath, visiting from FMF #23 this week.
Kath, thank you, you help me feel less uncomfortable with myself….
thank you Annette for your honest processing poetry. Second guessing the details and rehearsing what we coulda/shoulda said and done is a painful road indeed. I know.
I may be wrong, but the thing that matters is that we choose god and the life and truth He put in each one of us. The beauty of choosing His life is that now it is exciting to discover the endearing quirks in the uniqueness of each individual, including ourselves.
bless you Annette. #27
Dawn, your words are kind. 🙂 And I suppose it is a kind of beauty to discover our quirks, and then see how God might use them. 🙂
I find your phrase “But I don’t know” so relatable! So much of what I choose is just that – a choice. Often between good and good. And either option is equal but I just don’t know. And living with those choices? Often I questions. But, at the end of the day, I have to move forward.
that is true… at the end of the day, one must choose to not dwell in the ponderings, but move forward with the action taken.