Tonight as I write this post for the Five Minute word prompt, I’m feeling broken inside.
Broken and kinda hollow. Wondering how will I do the word Connect.
Especially when I am feeling like…
I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am…by more than my man and son. And so often I feel like I’m not…that somehow I’m always found wanting.
But oh…how they treasure me. Their treasuring of me lifts my soul up and feeds me heart with gratitude and yes.. total SURPRISE. They love me!!!
Even if I annoy them and frustrate them and drive them insane.
They love me and accept me for who I am.
They know my heart.
They are connected to the who I am.
Not the who they think I aught to be.. but the who I am RIGHT NOW.
It’s a big difference.
They see my foibles, and work around them.
They see my joys and are excited by them.
They lift me in ways they don’t always even know.
Because WE are connected.
And that I think is what really makes the difference you know?
They are so connected me. We are us. You get one of us.. you get the rest. Just the way it is.
So when I ponder this question:
Why do families hurt and wound?
I wonder if perhaps, it’s that lack of connection. That lack of not really seeing each other.
Because sometimes I think we are so busy looking for what we expect or want from each other or only seeing past hurts that we fail to see the person standing right in front of us.
We are lacking that connection to the real. To real “you are here with me now person”.
Jesus did that you know. He connected to the real you are here with me now person. See Thomas and his doubt. The woman at the well. His own momma.
Jesus lacked what the rest of us are steeped in… the sin. that inborn selfish that pervades all of our actions. It’s a stain that is dreadful. It is.
So sin didn’t influence his thoughts or his actions. He could just connect with the person right there, just as they were. And not only see them as they were but also see their potential to be more.
Sometimes, especially on days that I hurt, I just want him to come back. To see him. To have his light wash away it all. To remove tetchiness and dust-ups and sorrow and misunderstandings.
(Even though I really really want to see my lad grow up to be the man of God I think he will be).
A wee bit longer it took to write this than five minutes (wrote and changed, wrote and changed) but hey….you all will forgive me now won’t you? 🙂
Okay some of the rules here.
1. Five minutes to write.
2. it’s a free write which means you aren’t supposed to spend a whack of time editing. Just write on the word prompt.
3. Dear Miss Kate provides the word prompt. You can find her blog here.
4. write a post, link it up, then go and encourage the person who went on before you as encouragement is the name of the game and the SOUL of this community (and you wouldn’t want to let us down eh?)