Making an Adult

The crew gave a challenge that I’ve been pondering for most of a month now… writing lists.   It got me thinking along different lines but nothing really resonated with me.  I finally came up with a pre-adulting list, or perhaps a better way of saying that is Making an Adult.  Skills that I want my son to know before he leaves the house as an adult.   Skills he should be practicing now before he gets out on his own.

Ideas that I tested out and rejected?

Organization by writing out lists.  I’ve been doing that a bit lately what with my part-time job.  It’s helping me to not forget items that need doing. 

Schedules?  I thought about doing this for quite a while. We don’t really follow a schedule in our household but we do have routines, and I’ve tried a number of schedules over the years.  In August I’m going to be doing a day in the life post and I’ll talk about our routines then.   No need to have it twice in two months right? 

Then I considered how to help a lad keep organized and remembering tasks that he has to complete. Does this require lists to keep or something else?   I’d tell you but that would ruin the surprise later in August.  🙂 

Four Specific Skill Areas

I’ve written the past about specific skills that dads teach teens, but the skills I am wanting to address are skills that predominately I see myself as teaching as a mom.  They are skills that any parent or grandparent can teach as well.  I suppose you could say, these skills are closer to my heart and my mental outlook. 

How to manage a budget.   

I came into a marriage with a hubby who really didn’t know the ins and outs of managing a budget or planning for the future.  Granted, I was NOT taught these skills as I was maturing, so I’ve had to work to develop the skills I have, and I’ve taught my hubby a few of them along the way.  I’ve made some BAD financial decisions myself and felt the fall out for too long.  I’d rather reduce some of the potential pitfalls for my lad if I can.  

How to clean the house. 

I AM NOT a great housekeeper but I know what needs doing and how to do it. (thanks mom!)  I tend to find ANYTHING other to do than clean the house.  It’s good that I have a lad I can pass along some of these duties too eh?  🙂 Seriously though, we share the workload.  I’ll clean stuff off the stairs.. he’ll wipe the stairs down.  Next month we reverse it.  We do this for most cleaning tasks.  That way neither one of us is completely stuck with a job we’d rather not be doing, and it’s shared labour.  He, like hubby, would rather vacuum floors than sweep them, so I’ve taught him the joy of a small sweep brush and dustpan for areas vacuums don’t reach well.  Seeing and doing is the best teacher don’t you think? 

How to cook a meal and how to plan ahead for what you are making!

My son’s job?  Sundays are MY day off cooking.  If I ever HAVE to cook I’m selfish and plan meals around what I like.  Sometimes this means the guys get to experience new tastes and be surprised.   The lad though is supposed to cook on Sundays, and he can’t just do easy meals.  He occasionally gets a Sunday off if we are out and about, or he breaks an arm or life just kinda happens.  We aren’t rigid by no means.   Currently, he makes easy meals two out of four Sundays. The rest of the time he’s learning skills such as substitution (when he fails to plan ahead), how recipes are often suggestions and guidelines rather than fixed rules, and various cooking terms.  Sometimes it would be easier for me to do the cooking but it’s great for him to develop skills. 

Doing a job well even if it’s not perfect. 

I am a perfectionist.  It took me a LONG time to realize this and it stopped me from doing a lot of things if whatever I was doing didn’t turn out the way I’d envisioned.  It mentally stopped me in my tracks… “if I can’t do it right what’s the point?  I guess I’m just a failure all round”.  Guess who else is a perfectionist?  YUP!  That lad of mine.  As soon as I stop it stopping him in his tracks I taught him what took me too long to learn.  Is what you did a good job?  Did you give it a good effort?  Will it pass muster for most folks?  Be happy with what you’ve done.  Have your goal in mind, push for it, but if you don’t make it.. be happy with your accomplishment.  Being perfect is HARD, be very good… that’s better and easier. The pressure eased. A smiling lad again is a very good thing. 🙂   

Applying Worldview to Life in Making an Adult

I raised my lad with a Christian Worldview.  We apply faith to how we live our lives.  Faith is why I volunteer, faith is why I care for others, faith impacts how I view others.  My faith filter comes through the bible. 

My son admittedly is struggling with that right now.  His very scientific mindset has him not quite seeing how God could fit into the picture.  He’s willing to engage in discussion though, so struggles can happen right?  So right now, as I present my Christian Worldview, I am learning to ask him questions so he can see how his worldview impacts his thinking processes.  And how, as he applies that thinking process how it affects how he acts and interacts with the world around him. 

All of this is important in helping him become the adult he is meant to be.  My prayer is that he’ll come out on the other side truly seeing who God is and why God matters to his life, learning and way to live. 

The whole goal of course, along with the myriad of other skills he needs to develop, is making an adult that anyone would be glad to know and work with. This adult will have a consistent worldview with how he lives.